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When Mike Gonzales, a robust 43-year-old retired firefighter, speaks of the online group, rage simmers beneath his controlled exterior. Like the relatives of other members of the online group who have killed themselves, Mike and Mary Gonzales had no idea of their daughter's involvement with it until after her death. "I am just your average Joan who has everything to lose and is willing to lose it for absolutely no reason. "I have a wonderful family who will support me in all that I do," she wrote. She described taking antidepressants that didn't improve her mood, dropping out of Florida State, where she majored in math and meteorology, and calling a suicide hot line about "a friend" before losing her nerve and hanging up to cry. Over the next two months, she posted more than 100 messages to the group. I just want to sleep all day."įurthermore, she added, she was tired, sad and didn't enjoy anything. "I cannot possibly think of anything I want to do that is worth doing. 12, when she started a survey titled, "Why Do You Want To Die?" She answered her own question first. Suzy Gonzales sent her first message to the group on Jan. Just before doing so, he created a Web site that opened with the message: "Hi, and welcome to the homepage of my death." Then there's the 17-year-old English boy who hung himself. In another case, a 30-year-old unemployed salesman drove to a campsite overlooking a scenic Colorado river, lit the two charcoal grills he'd stowed in his car, and rolled up the windows. The pair flung themselves off Norway's 1,900-foot Pulpit Rock in February 2000.Ī year later, a German man and a Californian woman, both in their 40s, made a similar pact and shot themselves to death in a Monterey hotel. In one case, a 20-year-old Norwegian man placed an ad for a suicide partner - which was answered by a 17-year-old Austrian girl. The suicide group that Gonzales found has made a few headlines internationally. But mental health experts and the relatives of group members who have died charge that the group actually encourages depressed people to kill themselves. The group vigorously defends itself, citing what it sees as a need for people to express suicidal thoughts without fear of being hospitalized by their therapists or alarming their families.
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#Easy ways to kill yourself how to#
Among the hottest items is a "methods file," a step-by-step guide on how to commit suicide - from asphyxiation to rat poison. On any given day, the Internet site is filled with hopeless rants about life's miseries, advertisements for suicide partners, and requests for feedback on self-murder plans. Participants view suicide as a civil right that anyone should be able to exercise, for whatever reason. Evidence suggests that at least one person who never actually communicated with the group killed herself after downloading instructions on how to commit suicide by inhaling carbon monoxide.įounded in 1990, the discussion group defines its philosophy as being "pro- choice" suicide. An additional 14 suicides are listed by the group as "success stories" but cannot be verified because the individuals used anonymous screen names, and the group has refused to disclose their true identities. Gonzales' death is the 14th confirmed suicide associated with the online discussion group (which The Chronicle is not identifying). These types of things tend to happen, and it really isn't that big of a deal. "I know I should have told you, but I have been depressed and suicidal for a long, long time - it is all right to be sad and it is all right to cry. If you haven't heard by now, I have passed away. Her family, best friend, and the Tallahassee police were notified of her death by time-delayed e-mails that she had prepared with the help of another member of the online community.Īnd Jennifer" - she wrote her parents and 21-year-old sister in an e-mail entitled "One last note" - "I will make this short, as I know it will be hard to deal with.
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There, Gonzales found people who told her that suicide was an acceptable way to end her despair, and who gave her instructions on how to obtain a lethal dose of potassium cyanide and mix it into a deadly cocktail.ĭuring the early hours of March 23, after she cleaned her apartment and fed her kittens, Gonzales checked into a Tallahassee motel, where she stirred the poison into a glass of tap water, checked its acidity with a pH meter, and drank it. Unbeknownst to her friends and loved ones, the 19-year-old logged onto an obscure Internet site to confide her darkest thoughts to strangers.